East Ayrshire, CA - As Pro Wrestling Guerrilla (http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com
) moves further into 2011, it has become abundantly clear that we are in a serious need of a large financial influx if we have any hope of maintaining the lavish state of our offices. Gold Segway Personal Transport Systems (or "scooters," to the unwashed masses) are wonderful for zipping around to-and-fro, but the gold dents like you wouldn't believe. Especially during the weekly Segway polo matches at the warehouse. And no one quite realized just how difficult it would be to keep a quarter-operated gumball machine filled with Beluga caviar. Getting the caviar in isn't the problem, but installing an efficient refrigeration system in a century old antique is no small task.
It is because of these monetary setbacks that we are hoping to entice one of, nay, THE most charismatic former star of a truly unwatchable, yet somehow highly rated, network television comedy to our team of investors. Sure, spending $30,000 on a prostitute may lift your spirits for a single night, but imagine how much enjoyment could be derived from installing a pneumatic tube system in our office? Yes, we could easily send documents around at high speeds, but we could also stick sandwiches in there! Imagine that! All we would need to do would be to think of a sandwich, and then THWOOMP!, a cylinder with lunch in it would arrive! Thirsty for a Diet Coke? THWOOMP!
We feel that the pneumatic tube idea, along with naming our next event WINNING, is more than enough to convince any potential investor to come on board. So while we wait in the mailroom for the checks to come in, why don't you guys entertain yourselves with the lineup for WINNING, taking place on Saturday, April 9, 2011 at American Legion Post #308 in Reseda, CA. WINNING is scheduled to feature:Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Championship Title MatchClaudio Castagnoli
(Champion) vs. Joey Ryan
-- The weekend that Claudio Castagnoli returned to Pro Wrestling Guerrilla in 2010 also happened to be one of the greatest weekends in the career of Joey Ryan. While Claudio was busy reminding fans of what they had missed during his absence, Joey Ryan was superkicking his way through the 2010 Battle of Los Angeles. In the Semi-Final round, Joey and Claudio's paths crossed, and it was there that Claudio's return was stopped short, as he was defeated by Joey Ryan. Joey would go on to win the tournament, but a month later, Claudio Castagnoli would go on to defeat Joey for the vacant Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Championship title. Not a bad tradeoff for Claudio.
However, that was the start of a waking… nightmare is too strong of a word. Annoyance, perhaps? The start of a waking annoyance for Claudio Castagnoli. After winning the title at The Curse of Guerrilla Island, Claudio began to receive crank phone calls at all hours of the night, unwanted pizzas delivered to his home, and strongly worded letters stuffed into his gym bag. While there is no direct evidence linking Joey Ryan to these infantile pranks, Joey was overheard bragging to the locker room at DDT4 that he is the psychological chessmaster of Pro Wrestling Guerrilla. When Claudio caught wind of this, he remarked "Joey? Chess? More like Candy Land."
While the games outside of the ring are meant to annoy Claudio, Joey's actions inside the ring are meant to intimidate the World Champion. Dubbing himself the "Hollywood Submission Machine," Joey Ryan has racked up victories over Brandon Gatson, "Supernatural" Shane Helms, and Candice LeRae in recent months using his bodylock kimura submission hold. Though he did not use the hold to defeat Claudio at the 2010 Battle of Los Angeles, Joey's ability to break down his opponents and effectively apply the submission maneuver must give the World Champion some cause for concern.
Will Joey Ryan's campaign of psychological warfare pay off and return the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Championship to his possession, or will Claudio Castagnoli prove that his loss to Joey at the 2010 Battle of Los Angeles was an aberration, and that the Most Money Making Man in Professional Wrestling is also the Most WINNING?Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Tag Team Championship Title MatchEl Generico
(for Paul London - Champions) vs. The Young Bucks (Matt
& Nick Jackson
-- When Matt and Nick Jackson, The Young Bucks, emerged as the overall winners at last Friday's DDT4 tournament, it seemed like history was repeating itself. After all, it was just under two years ago that The Young Bucks won the tournament for the first time, defending their World Tag Team Championship titles three times in the process. And it was just under a year ago that brought the titles to another DDT4 tournament, defending them twice in one night before ultimately being defeated by current champions El Generico and Paul London, ¡Peligro Abejas!
Now, as the only team to ever win DDT4 twice, The Young Bucks are prepared to cement their position at the top of the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla tag team rankings for good when they challenge for the World Tag Team Championship at WINNING on April 9.
While The Young Bucks are prepared for many things, a ruling by the Intergalactic Council of Planets certainly was not one of them. Delegates from all corners of the galaxy convened at the behest of Earth's representative, "Intrepid Traveler" Paul London. It seems that Representative London has been called away on space business for the Earth month of April, and wished to elect a suitable replacement for himself to defend the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Tag Team Championship alongside El Generico. By an overwhelming 879-2 margin, the Intergalactic Council of Planets voted that Ricochet should replace Paul London at WINNING. The two votes against were from Querl Dox, of Colu, who predicted a catastrophic event for Earth were London not to team with El Generico, and Dejah Thoris, of Mars, who wished for a Barsoomian wrestler to take London's place.
Therefore, based on the precedent set at All Star Weekend 7 - Night Two, and the ruling by the Intergalactic Council of Planets (which supersedes the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla Board of Directors' authority), on Earthdate April 9, 2011, The Young Bucks, Matt and Nick Jackson, will challenge El Generico and Ricochet for the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Tag Team Championship titles.Singles MatchLow Ki
vs. Roderick Strong
-- Making his long-awaited return to Pro Wrestling Guerrilla at Kurt Russellreunion 2: The Reunioning, Low Ki defeated the only other man currently in Pro Wrestling Guerrilla to have vacated the World Championship title and not receive a rematch, Davey Richards. With that victory over Richards, Low Ki finds himself back in the World Championship title picture, along with perennial contender Roderick Strong. Though Roderick has been near the top of the Championship mountain before, he has never been able to take that final step and secure the title. A victory at WINNING on April 9 will elevate the winner closer to the top of the rankings. Also, the Board of Directors is fairly confident that this match will be just as hard hitting and entertaining as their 2008 Battle of Los Angeles encounter, so why not have these guys brutalize each other again?Tag Team Match
RockNES Monsters (Johnny Goodtime
& Johnny Yuma
) vs. "Mr. Wrestling" Kevin Steen
& Akira Tozawa
-- At Kurt Russellreunion 2: The Reunioning, "Mr. Wrestling" Kevin Steen announced his plans to compete in 2011's DDT4 in a most dramatic way: by attempting to paralyze Johnny Goodtime and Johnny Yuma after they had just won a berth in that very tournament. Unfortunately for Steen (but fortunately for the RockNES Monsters), he was unsuccessful in both winning the tournament and paralyzing Goodtime and Yuma. Though they are usually quite reserved, the RockNES Monsters were quite perturbed at their treatment at the hands of Steen, and were hoping to gain some measure of revenge during DDT4. Again, it was just not meant to be, as the teams did not meet in the tournament. But at WINNING on April 9, a fresh and fiery Johnny Goodtime and Yuma will take on the men that reached the finals of the 2011 DDT4, but ultimately came up short: Kevin Steen and Akira Tozawa.Singles MatchWillie Mack
vs. Brian Cage-TaylorSingles Match
"Pretty" Peter Avalon
vs. Ryan TaylorSingles MatchCandice LeRae
vs. Portia Perez
Pro Wrestling Guerrilla's WINNING takes place Saturday, April 9, 2011, at 8:00 PM at American Legion Post #308 in Reseda, CA. American Legion Post #308 is located at 7338 Canby Ave., Reseda, CA 91335. Front Row tickets are $30, and General Admission tickets are $25. Online tickets orders are subject to the PayPal Service Charge (2.9% + $0.30). Tickets purchased in advance allow for priority admittance to the venue, along with guaranteed event seating. Online tickets sales for this event will end on April 5, 2011, at 11:59PM. Any remaining tickets will be available for purchase at the door. Video recording devices are not permitted. Card subject to change.